The Road Less Traveled

They say sometimes you should choose the road less traveled. It makes you stronger and makes you a better person. I tend to agree. However, I have taken that road a few times in my life and I never veered off of it. I traveled along the rocky road and put my best foot forward. I waited for the prize at the end only to find disappointment. Don't get me wrong I have also chosen the one that is traveled by many. The easy one. I think we all do from time to time. I sometimes feel as though I am entitled. I mean, after  a horrible out come from the one less traveled I feel that taking the easy way is due to me.


I am finding myself on the road less traveled again. My life, for the last four months has been consumed by my waking every morning, taking a shower, getting ready and spending the day at the home with my mom. The mom that use to be independent, dressed to the nines, and ready to go out shopping or to lunch everyday. The mom that lays in a bed now, unable to stand, walk, or even go to the bathroom by herself. The mom, that I think is giving up one day and then giving it her all the next.


I am having a hard time understanding why God would allow her to suffer so much. Allow me to have to watch her suffer everyday. Then, I am quickly reminded of how God sent his only son to die on the cross and suffer like no one ever has. I suddenly start to understand this whole thing called life. At least, I think I understand it. I have come to realize that we really do have to leave it in God's hands. I no longer pray for a healing. Instead, I pray for his will to be done.


Is that the road that is traveled by many. The easy road? I don't think so. I think it is the road less traveled. It is hard to let go and just let God. It is a rocky hard thing to do. I think hoping and praying that my mom will be ok is the easy way. It is easier to keep a positive mind. It is easier to have expectations of happiness again with her. Instead, I have let it all go. I am still there everyday. We still talk. I still hold her hand and take her for walks in her wheelchair. But, I also have come to  terms that this is not going to last for long.  In her case, when I say goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow. I never really know if I will or not. This road is the road less traveled. This is the road I wouldn't trade for the world. I have learned so much from my mom, but never has she been able to teach me what she has taught me in the last four months. She has taught me love in a way I never knew with her, and we are really close. She is also teaching me that no matter what tomorrow brings. That love will always be there. In spirit.


I chose, again, the road less traveled. I would trek down that road a 100 times over if it meant loving and learning what I have from a beautiful woman I call, Mom!