Bitter Sweet.

With Mother's Day tomorrow. I always feel torn. Half of me is happy to be able to share this day with my mom and my daughter. With my husband and my sweet babies. The other half of me wishes I could share this day with my son. After all. I am his mother and I feel cheated.

The day I gave birth to my son Jeremy, I vowed to love and protect him. I never thought in my wildest dreams that a day would come and evil would strike him. cancer is an evil and heartless illness. Still, I never thought that it would take my sweet boy away.

I am blessed that I have hope and faith. I know that we will be a family of four again and that is what keeps me going. I know, without a doubt, that I will see him again. Then, I will spend every Mother's Day with him.

Now, while my work is not done here, I will love and cherish my Mom and my Daughter who are two of the most amazing mom's I know.

My mom is a pillar and has more love to give then any woman I know. She stood by me for those eleven months. She has taught me strength, love and how to be the best mom I could possibly be. I take pride in that role.

My daughter, well, I can't even describe the love I have for her. She is a mommy to three of the most beautiful babies. Jeremy, who is 6, Berkley, who is 4 and Finley, who is 19 months. They seriously keep me going. I love them with every part of my being. They make us laugh, smile and enjoy the little things in life. I thank my daughter everyday for bringing them into the world. Of course, I thank my son in law too. :)

So, even though I hurt on this day because I miss my son. This day will never be the same for me. I will always wish for him to be with me and to celebrate this day with me. I know that someday I will. For now. I have to hold on to that hope. And, I always will..

I will also thank God for both of my children. I will also thank him for an amazing mom. I will celebrate them this Mother's Day. We will laugh, we will probably shed some tears. But, we will always be thankful.

No matter how bitter sweet it is.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there.  I hope your day is filled with much laughter and love.


Cathy