A letter from Brittni

I wanted to share this letter from my sweet friend Brittni. I want to be able to come back here some day when I need to be reminded of the love God has for us. Some days we need to be reminded. I can't imagine a better way then through the bravery, love and faith that is Brittni and Steven.

I am also sharing a picture of precious Zeke. He is so beautiful.I feel honored and blessed to have held his little hand. He held mine so tight. I will never forget this precious baby. Sleep with angels sweet baby boy.

Blessing of Ezekiel Anthony

I wish today I could have awaken to just another day... Kicks and flips from the greatest gift I have ever been given... But I didn't. I wish I could say all is good in this world... But it isn't. There is a whole in my heart that will never be filled. My orange juice this morning didnt hold the same splendor knowing it wouldn't bring my boy back. As we are forced with the reality of walking the halls of a funeral home the sting is ever present. Our faith has never promised to rid us of this pain and hurt. The Lord will never bring our son into our arms here on earth again... But He will bring us to our son. He did promise to cry along side us as we are weeping.. He does know our pain... He will NEVER leave us... He is close to the broken hearted... And He has given us the gift of eternal life. With all of that being said there are a few details I feel compelled to share that help express the unexplainable peace we have received in the midst of the greatest grief one could know.

Our son entered the world on march 9th ... 61 hours and 37 minutes after I was admitted. If you are assuming many were at their wits end, you are only scratching the surface. I can't tell you how much pressure I felt to appease everyone who had spent days camped out waiting for his appearance... Aside from the overwhelming excitement from knowing I was finally on the verge of holding my baby.!! We awoke that morning to a verse of the day....

2 Peter 1:5-8
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Funny. The last two days had been "unsuccessful" in the eyes of everyone surrounding us. Good reminder God... Good sense of humor as well. After that we were visited by the new dr on staff. She was amazing and meant for us, for our son and his delivery... But we didn't know that yet. Once she gave us news of our only minimal progress we were visited by our small group and I was back onto pitocin. Only minutes later a few members of our church's pastoral care team visited us. They prayer over us and anointed me with oil. We felt so blessed and recharged. Next thing we knew as I'm sitting in the bed chatting it up my water breaks... I had already been having contractions on my own but after the pitocin and my water went it was a slippery slope to painville.!! I had no idea I would finally be reaching labor, hard labor, so quickly.

The doctor who had come on that morning was so attentive and caring. She was constantly in checking on us and doing tasks that are not within her job description. As soon as he was out and taken to the NICU she was doing everything she could to get me out of my bed and to my babies side. She asked to be the one to take us to his side and poured love on all three of us. All throughout the night she was in our room loving and mourning along side of us. This women was chosen by God to be the person to deliver Ezekiel. She gave all the glory to Him and showered His love as I don't feel any other doctor could have. All our staff was such a blessing and would take days to list each individually. (I will get to a post someday to recognize all of the hoops that the people of our hospital went through for us.... From operating outside of policy... To staying past the end of shifts or coming in on days off to be with us... They stopped at nothing.!!)

In honoring Him and giving it all to Him, His will was done. Our son graced our presence that same day... And we were blessed with time. 6 hours and 11 minutes of time... Spent fulfilling our every wish we had prayed for. We knew our time was not going to be like that of other families with their newborns and we dreamed accordingly; all the while knowing that if God saw it be fit in His will to heal our son here in our arms rather than His own He would... But that was not a part of the upper story. We still do not know the upper story, and quite frankly we never may... But we do know he is whole in the arms of Jesus. His beauty here on earth will leave a lasting imprint in our hearts and an ever present image on our minds. I have never known such beauty in my life. While I am crushed beyond earthly repair that he has left my arms... I am so grateful he is now flying among angels awaiting the day I come into his presence yet again.

All our love
God bless.


If anyone would like to donate to Zeke's memorial fund please visit their memorial page,

•  www.giveforward.com/ezekielanthonysmemorialbench

• Please feel free to share this on your blog. Lets all help this precious couple reach their goal for the memorial bench.. They have never asked for anything. Please let them have this one wish, to remember their baby by..   Please refer all back to my blog where they can leave a comment for Steven and Britni to see or on her facebook page, "Blessings of Ezekiel Anthony". Lets shower them with love. Thank you!!
                                             In faith and love,
                                                  Cathy